I love it, I always start this off with "didn't do much today" but somehow I make a sizable blog. Just pours out of me like talent. Ha. haha. Alright, well I'll switch it up and say I did something today! In fact I did several things. The first amazing thing is that I woke up at 8:30am. Yes! 8:30am! I know, I'm pleasently surprised. Got breakfast and put on socks and my hiking boots as I was going to Dan Sinh Market and might have to stop on a monster spider or cat sized rat. For some reason my right foot is messed up wearing my boots and I have no idea why. They have some ankle support but every time I take a step my foot rolls inward. After all the time I spent trying to get these boots they weren't worth it. Probably could have gone with a pair from Zellers and they'd survive a week of use since after the first rain storm I was caught in, I traded boots for crocks haha.
I hit the market and started my patrol around the perimetre for an M1967 Tri-fold (folds in three) Entrenching Tool, (E-tool) = shovel haha. First I looked for the most desperate as there's a few places that have them. I find my desperate guy and ask him how much his was. He wanted $80 and I laughed, everyone else is selling them for $30 so I told him he's dinky dau and I'm buying it at another place. I ask the other places and they want $30, I ask $25 and they don't budge. Clearly they don't wanna play "Let's Make A Deal" so I move on. I find a guy that has one for $30. I ask $25 and he budged. He said $29. Now it gets interesting! haha. I counter $25 haha. He goes $28. I got him to $26 and I start walking, he stops me and I ask $25? to which he agrees. Deal. Now, the it gets more interesting. In my neighbourhood, Pham Ngu Lao there are currency trade places that you can exchange cash. The average price is $1 = $20,000VND making $25USD equal $500,000VND. I see his math and he charges me $1 at $21,000VND and when you multiply that by $25USD that's $525,000VND and to the actual exchange rate today that's $27USD! I had to battle him to lower from $26USD but I got the $25, but he wanted to miss multiply and make an extra $2USD! I know it's not a lot haha, but $2 here buys me 4oz of whisky, or two ice cream cones or something actually useful like food. That $2 would buy me eight 1.5L of water which I need to survive for a week haha. Plus if this was my first week here I wouldn't have noticed at all, but after two weeks you're experienced and I'm a seasoned veteran haha. I call him out on it and tell him the conversion rate is $1US = $20,000 Dong, he said $21,000. I had my money out to pay him and it disappeared back into my money belt and I start walking. He stops me, I ask $1US = $20,000VND? And he agreed. I happily paid him and moved on. Here or maybe any foreign country it's good to rephrase things to get people to confirm a price. If you don't then when you get off the moto you pay an extra $5USD, or prices at the market increase. Never give money before confirmation as once it's in their hands, transaction is over. Heck, when you give someone more than exact change and need change back, do the math and confirm that they can give you $30,000 back from a $50,000 bill for a $20,000VND item as sometimes people don't have change and you're screwed.
Big paragraph over a transaction haha. Alright, I check out... I forget her name and the name I gave her as I forgot her name, now I've forgotten her fake name haha. She has what I consider the best shop in the market and when I go to the market I usually see what she has in stock. She bought more maps for me to check out, and I bought four maps, two that connect and it shows Tuy Hoa to just south of Quang Ngai, specifically Tuy Hoa haha, An Khe, Bong Son, Kontum and Dak To is just out of sight, but I got that covered, which is the area the 173rd served in from 1967-71 and two maps that are the same size and line up, but not straight in a line, but together they cover from Can Tho to the Cambodian border, specifically Saigon, Bien Hoa, Cu Chi, Tay Ninh and Katum which are 173rd areas and about 200mi North to South. By the way, I love how I can sneak something about the 173rd in every blog. It's not me, it's my subconscious! Since I've bought four maps, plus another... three I think, I thought I earned a discount and saved $4US considering I'm putting her kids through college haha. Now I try not to carry a lot of cash on me, and instead of always going to the bank I have my own "bank" hidden in my hotel room, and I don't let them clean my room because of that, I have a laptop plugged in stealing all their bandwidth and right now maybe $300US worth of army gear plus everything I own in Vietnam. Spending $25US cleaned me out, which by the way on a normal day lasts me two, maybe three days of non-shopping day, Jay on survival and debt mode haha. I had to hit the hotel, reload my ammo, since money is ammunition in peace and war and come back to get my discount and pay. Is it sad when they know me by my name? haha. Luckily I'm a 5 min walk and dropped my maps at the hotel.
I hit KFC as I was in the area and I'm starting to notice a trend. I rarely walk in and what I have to order is ready. I get the big crunch and here it's $1.75CDN instead of $5 back home, same taste and quality but I have to wait 10 minutes. Sadly I know the industry well and back in Canada if we're a fully functional location you'd be expected to have one of everything ready to rock so when someone does come in and order it, it's ready haha. If it's always a 10 minute wait I should order from my hotel and walk over, plus when I do get it, it's too hot to eat as it's been sitting in a vat of 200 degree fat for 10 minutes haha. After since it's "Happy hour" at KFC (2pm-4pm things are on sale since it's slow) I got an ice cream cone. What happens is they give me the cone first, then take my money and give my change back, which I love since I'm one handed and the ice cream is melting haha. Well before I got the cone I give the guy on cash $50,000 and he holds it, but doesn't put it in the machine... just hanging out. Someone asked about something on the menu, he puts my $50,000 on the counter and to the customer. My money is now in limbo, not in my possession or the restaurants and I'm ready to pounce on it in case someone wants two free Vietnamese meals. He comes back and gives me my change but .05 secs before I get my ice cream! Hey, a victory is a victory! Anyways the customer service isn't there yet, but it's cheaper than home but I'm noticing this stuff at other places, fast food and restaurant. Great they have someone to open the door for me, but nobody to bring me my check. Give it five more years and I'm sure it'll be there by then.
Next I hit Phuoc's surplus place. He said that he could get a real M1967 nylon web belt with the Davis fastener. Really it's two flat pieces of steel that interlock. The earlier design was basic too so I don't see why they needed to update it. He had one, and for $10, but it was shit, sat in the sun for 27 years haha so I'll pick up the new, great condition reproduction one as I have important people to buy for, and I'm not giving the Forbes seal of approval on something I wouldn't use myself in the field. I'll pick up the repro one in the next day or two. It was almost three and having to recon some clothes for Mitchell and get Kirshin's zippo done and make it home before the 5pm rain I did the recon first since I rather be in Ben Thanh market out of the rain talking with Hanh (formerly Tran now that I remember his name), the zippo guy then stuck in not so familiar territory. I check it out and find out that it's the Russian Market, which I've heard about but I have no idea why it's called the Russian market as they sell normal VN tourist stuff, dresses, Adidas, American Eagle and other brands. I didn't see any vodka, AK47's, bears balancing on a ball or Chekov hats haha. I check it out and they just had Adidas stuff, which I thought they had Nike stuff. They had work out stuff for $7 which is better than $40 at home.
I forgot my water at the hotel, so I stumbled on a Lotteria and get a drink. What's cool is that I paid close to the actually cost per cup of pop. It was $15,000 for a medium drink which is $.75CDN. They're still making money as pop is so cheap it's ridiculous. Each time you buy a pop at a fast food place in Canada they're making at least $1.50 profit after costs of the $20 box of syrup which serves like 500 drinks and the CO2 tank that lasts like 25,000 drinks haha. Just so you know :) I hit up a book store looking for grease pencils in it's stationary, and I don't think the Vietnamese, or at least the Saigonians (let's pretend it's a word) use grease pencils. I'm not about to explain what it is. "Yea, it's like a pencil, but writes like a crayon" and I'd be given pencils or crayons haha. I did pick up old school style yellow envelopes but with the security string you wrap around a peg so nobody can open it! It's '60s style so I gotta have it, and I could get them at Business Depot for $20 if I buy the the box of fifty haha. What am I going to do with forty-five unused envelops? Hell I don't have a plan for the five I did buy other than a funny way to hand over official feeling documents at group meetings haha. I'm walking down the street and I have a brown bandanna on to keep the sweat from 34 degrees of sun from blinding me and I have my ARVN pack on and some girl said I look like Rambo haha. I confessed I wasn't him to which she was shocked (not really haha) and she asked me where I'm from. Canada. I start trying to cross eight lanes of traffic and "Oh, I have a sister going to Toronto next month to work in a hospital!" haha FUCK! SHE'S ON TO ME!!! It wasn't that bad but I was thinking "Here we go again!" and thanks to traffic I walked away from her and she had to wait to cross while I slipped away. Maybe 45 seconds later a moto driver I've never seen before drives up and yells "Canada!" and I keep walking thinking that girl called her scamming partner nearby and reported my position. He asked where I'm going and I was about to cross the street to the market so I told him and guess what? He wanted to drive me across the street. How nice of him. I obviously walked it haha.
I find Hanh, the zippo guy and give him my art. Kirshin wanted a 173rd Abn Bde zippo with the logo on the front and the quote "Gimme Shelter" on the lid above the flying butterknife. I always set it up so that when you open it up with your right hand, the main picture is visible, that being the 173rd symbol. He wanted a quote from the zippo book that was like "Fuck this, fuck that, fuck the rain, fuck the mud, fuck night patrols, fuck radio duty, fuck fuck fuck!" haha but wanted an exact quote. Lacking that he wanted "Jesus Saves, Moses Invests" and a nice looking Star of David since he's Jewish. Hanh passes it to who I assume is a runner, which isn't the one that took all my other zippos to the engraver, and translates my design to Vietnamese, then she takes my work to get it done. These are zippos from Bradford, PA, USA so they're legit, the case and the actual lighter and after until I get paid for it, it's mine so I make sure I have everything set. After my 2nd order I started drawing everything out, I draw a little zippo, the lid, the line and bolt connecting it, the body, then the other side with the bolt on the other way and draw it all out. After Sean's I found a 173rd patch and use that as reference since before that I only had another zippo with a crude 173rd patch engraved on it haha but now the quality of the engraved 173rd patch is a hell of a lot better and now Brit, Kirshin and Sam's zippos will look so much more prettier haha. If it's a picture I trace it carefully off the screen of my laptop, mostly plotting dots and I use my trusty compass ruler to line it all up. Kirshin wanted a wicked Star of David and I gave it to him. On the hand drawn zippos I attempt to draw what is wanted but hand over the good copies so the engraver can copy it directly instead of my tiny doodle (drawing haha) but knows where on the zippo to place it, plus I re-write the font in large enough letters for him to clearly read and from the doodle he knows where they go. I have my shit wired tight to say the least. The new girl sends it off and Hanh and I chat between customers, which luckily there were a good amount since I worry that some days I'm the only one that places food on his table that night.
Something hit me as he was talking to customers, something I haven't felt yet since coming to Vietnam. Two Aussie ladies came up and were looking at glasses, as he sells mostly glasses but has zippos as well. I'm half paying attention and they try on about four pairs, ask how much and start bartering with him. They do the standard tactics that I use myself, but then it clicked in my head. Hanh has a wife and three kids under 12 and a little dog. He has a 15 year old moto and has to live on the other side of the Saigon river, which I'm sure it's not the wealthy side of town. These girls were wanting four pairs of glasses for $15US which I even know is bull shit. I'm 90% sure they're Ray Ban copies but considering each real pair is like $75US, four for $15 is still raping him. They left him with a "Maybe I'll come back later" and he apologized to me because it cut into our conversation haha. I told him it's perfectly okay because he's at work and working with customers haha.
What hit me was compassion. This is a good guy who invited me into his home, has completed five awesome zippos and I consider him a friend, and I felt bad for the guy, not because he didn't make the sale, but because he's doing it the right way, he's not charging four times the actual price and cost out to get tourist's cash but selling products to get by. Honestly when I'm shopping and I know I'm getting ripped off I walk, not just because the price is too much, but I know that vendor is hoping I'm a fucking moron and blindly hand over my dong (Vietnamese money...) which is an insult. I know when I'm getting an amazing deal and I keep cool instead of doing a fist-pumping victory dance haha and when I get a good deal, which I consider less than item costs in Canada. When I saw he was getting squeezed, let them know the lowest he could go, which was close, if not at cost as he needs to make something from it, I felt bad for him and I was thinking "Hey, that's not a bad deal guys" haha. I'm not losing my objectivity, I just don't like to see an honest person get fucked. I'm also not losing my bartering skill as every other vendor is still out there trying to squeeze every dong I have into their hands haha. We talked about the Army, Christmas, what I've done the last two weeks haha, etc and the girl comes back with my zippo. Nice! I check it out and the Star of David rocks for a old Vietnamese dude in a tiny Saigon shop with I'm assume simple power tools and does the detailed stuff by hand. I flip it over and there it is... the elephant on the zippo. The fuck up... The 173rd patch rocks, "Gimme Shelter" rocks (which I can imagine written on the side on an M113, but anyways...) under the quote is "AIRBORNE" which shouldn't be there. I spelled it out on my blue prints so the engraver knew what it said instead of my tiny scribble above the doodle of the 173rd patch, as the patch says "AIRBORNE" above the drawing. I politely let him know it rocks, except the "AIRBORNE" shouldn't be there haha. He checks it out and my blue prints and corrects the new girl and she apologized to me and I let her know it happens. Before this it was 0% error but oddly enough 0% with the other girl, Hanh's runner and I know if you call for air support too many times the odds of it fucking up increase. Hanh sent her back to the engraver to let him know and see what could be done. He apologized to me and said this new girl just needs to listen more carefully and I told him that it happens and it's not his fault. Like I mentioned earlier he's a nice guy, but I also said I haven't lost my objectivity as well, and I'm cool outside, but in my head it's clear I'm not paying a dime for that mistake haha. I asked if they could sand it off, or give me a new lid for the zippo and he said he'll have to do a brand new one and next time I come by tomorrow or the next day I'll be done. I just hope it doesn't cost him too much and hopefully he takes it out of the girls pay. While she was gone he asked if I get upset haha. I told him I rarely lose face (more or less flip out Canadian standards, here it's yelling in public haha) but obviously I do get mad or upset, I just put on Hawthorn Heights and cut myself in my room. Wait.. it's not 2001 haha. Joking haha. I meant The Used :) But tomorrow I pick up the 173rd flag, get the design back for the N/75 Ranger Company patches and can get Sam's zippo done! After that I'll make a last call for shit, I mean orders and ship our shit home! My leg cramped up for some reason so I took it as a a sign to head out.
While I was in Ben Thanh market though, I figured I'd see if there's any Nike underarmour shirts Mitchell was wanting. I do my sweep and get the usual "Hi, how you? What you buy? How many? What colour" and I haven't even looked at them or opened my mouth haha. I stumble on some more Adidas stuff, ask how much and it's $6CDN so I check it out, they throw a medium to see if it fits me and I asked for a small, they ask what colour I want and I tell them orange, like the ones I saw at the Russian market. The girl laughed at me and said they don't have orange. Alright? Colour me fucking retarded muhaha? haha. They ask what colour I want and I said orange haha. I go to take a step to leave and my exit is blocked. Fuck... So they keep asking me questions and I carefully use my peripheral vision and have 3 exits open, but there's one defender. I figure if I can make my approach, do a left spin and duck, I can squeeze past and make it to the South exit. The clock is ticking and I wanna get the hell out of dodge, the puck drops, I take it, do a left spin past the defender, I faked her out, I got a clear path to the net and... what the fuck? Holding! This women grabbed my arm. I should get a whistle! Where's the ref!?! I guess in Vietnam ref's are blind too. "Please let me go". She asked what's wrong, why I go and I drop the smile, cut the shit, look her dead in the eye and "let me go!" She complied but added a twist. "You go away! I no sell to you! You crazy!" I laugh and the girls around me as I make my exit look at her and ask "What did he do!?" As it usually happens, seconds after the perfect timing it hits me I could have gotten into it with her haha, been all like "YOU BEAUCOUP DINKYDAU MAMASAN!" hahaha. I made her lose face in public so I exited victorious and she brought shame upon herself, her staff and her store. Her reaction reminds me of "Waiting..." where Justin Long turns down the Assistant Manager position to his boss haha. His boss says something like "You're flushing away a golden opportunity here! But fine, you go, uhh...Get... Get out of my sight! Yea.. You walk... I'll just give it to Calvin! Yea! See ya!" haha. Big man.
Wow long blog haha. I head out of the market and there's always waiting moto drivers. One grabbed me to make me stop. Big mistake since I'm not in a grabbing mood! Oh I stopped, but I told him to give me my arm back. I'm not to the point where I can put together "Gimme my arm back before I take yours! ROAR" haha but probably will let out a "Don't fucking touch me!" I should pause. Let him think he has my undivided attention, which will buy me a few seconds and then I can put together a more complex and aggressive reply. That or I can grab his forearm, twist it while his body jerks and make him grab his own ear from behind his back. That just might be borderline assault with plenty of Vietnamese speaking witnesses haha.
Try to speed this up as I'm getting tired haha. I got back, dropped my shit, went to Zoom Cafe which is the Vespa place I hit the other night and was great, I got a good seat and took some cool traffic pictures and shot a lengthy video about traffic, but I fulfilled a special request, I recorded myself bartering. Finally one of those vendors that drags their sick three year old out of bed to parade in front of tourists to gain pity and US funds in exchange for shit, one of them had something I actually wanted. No wallets, purses, sun glasses, smokes, newspapers, magazines, fans, back massaging wands and the damn list goes on. She had things that tourists forget when they go on vacation, or the small stuff we plan to buy once we get there. She had tooth brushes, tooth paste, soap, pit-stick, nail clippers, tweezers, scissors, face wash, etc. I picked up some scissors and asked how much, I was going to pay it but figured I'd barter, as I'm recording it and make it interesting, otherwise it would be a normal transaction we all have in Canada haha. I got it for a lesser price and then I shot a tour of the backpacking district, the Pham Ngu Lao, De Tham and Bui Vien streets. I came back here, had my shower and here I am going to bed as it took me like three hours to write this haha. Gotta put shit away and go to bed, maybe wake up at a good time tomorrow.
What am I forgetting... oh! Someone asked if I wanted some weed. I told them that in Canada I'd only get a ticket, but here in Vietnam I get executed! He asked "so do you want?" Yes, please give me the key not just to the destruction of my mental state, but the key to my own cell for 60 years or the key to the ignition of the battery that's clamps are attached to my thumbs or nipples while thousands of volts rattle my cells and make that screeching sound of my teeth grinding together while I try to find a way to compensate the pain!!!!!! How much dong? Wait, I mean fuck that shit! Not worth the risk. Someone else asked if I want my Crocs to be shined. Yes, please resort the factory plastic luster of my shit shoes haha. I told him before I leave Vietnam their going in the garbage haha. Think thats it! Night!
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